The last post I wrote I mentioned that I still hoped that Amber Dubois would be found safe. Sadly she wasn’t. The crimes committed by convicted sex offender John Gardner rocked our community and shook us to our very core. I never had a plan to write about violent crimes, but how could I ignore the profound impact that something like this makes on our very psyche?
Today we have another man, convicted predator Leonard Earl Scroggins, scheduled to answer charges today in San Diego’s South Bay for multiple attacks on women.
Since we first learned about the murder of Chelsea King and subsequently learned that John Gardner had confessed to the kidnap, rape and murder of Amber Dubois, my heart has been heavy
Unrelated, but somehow interconnected for me is that I am dealing with the personal sudden loss of my eldest brother Laurence. I miss him terribly and have yet to come to terms with his early demise. He had retired less than 2 years ago and his passing on December 28, 2009 shook me to my core, it was so unexpected.
That is a different story about two innocent defenseless young girls, in my community but it serves to illustrate my sensitive state of mind. I offer up a prayer for my brother nightly and I add both girls; Chelsea and Amber into my prayers and thoughts and think of them as a shining star sharing their pure light and blessings as they make their way to the infinite light.
Use this link for in depth news on Gardner Sentencing
I admire what both families are doing to re-claim a feeling of control and to insure that their daughter’s loss can bring about a change for the good to protect others in the future.
The Kings and Amber’s father Moe Dubois are advocating and working with law makers to see that laws are changed and strengthened to protect society from violent sex predators.
Amber’s mother, Carrie McGonigle, got to interview Gardner briefly to get some answers she needed about the crime. What she learned was that Gardner hadn’t stalked Amber personally, but as he was out looking for victims, saw an opportunity. He noticed Amber was walking unwittingly into a trap by using a walk way that had no homes, no other people and no means to escape because there was a high fence on both sides of the block impeding any escape route.
Carrie, Amber’s mom has been giving interviews in order to stress to parents everywhere that they need to be aware and to take more precautions to insure their children don’t become crime victims. That sentiment is echoed by Marc Klaas, the father of Polly and it brings me to what I want to emphasize in the strongest possible way, which is that everyone needs to learn how to be more aware of personal safety and prevention of crimes of opportunity.
We can’t afford to stick our heads in the sand, and pretend that the world is a safe and worry free place. We need to realize that it is our responsibility to become aware and alert. There are steps we can take to really decrease the odds of being targeted for a crime. The best defense is a good offense and that means learning about risky situations, and always being aware of your surroundings and having a plan.
My 12 step plan for increasing safety is below this video.
12 Safety Tips
1-Form a group or den of parents or other neighborhood adults that volunteer to walk with the neighborhood children to and from school daily. Besides safety a community group for walking to school would get the kids and the adults out walking, keep track of where kids are and get a little exercise as well.
2-Get to know your neighbors so you have a safety network and can notify each other when needed. Exchange phone numbers and email and know each other by name.
3-Send kids to a class or group to learn self defense. There are many organizations and businesses that give free classes. Additional benefits are the exercise and empowerment. I’ve included links below to find self defense classes.
4-Have a community service officer or safety expert speak at a function and discuss ways to protect yourself.
5- Consider buying a GPS tracker for children to wear. (People buy these for their pets, so why wouldn’t they for their children?)
6- If your child is old enough to use a self defense device like pepper spray, consider it but make sure they are thoroughly trained in using it.
7-Talk with your kids and discuss possible dangerous situations and the best way to handle the situation. Again an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Headsets and cell phones are a distraction. Make sure your child is aware of his/her surrounding and looks and listens to see if anyone looks suspicious or seems to be following them. If they feel threatened, they should quickly walk into a store and tell the clerk or go inside the store and call a parent or 911.
8-When your teen is driving, teach them to use their rear view mirror to observe if anyone seems to be following. If they think they’re being followed, never make a beeline for home. Safely and quickly pull over, let the suspect pass and then turn and quickly go another way toward home, checking and making sure that they aren’t being followed.
9-Try not to walk alone, buddy up. If it’s necessary to walk alone and if someone does try to accost them tell them to run away as fast as possible towards people, yelling “help, call police” at the top of their lungs.
10-If you’re walking down the street on the sidewalk and there is a long, truck or large mobile home parked on the street go around it on the street side, Don’t walk along the side of it where you’re trapped from view. I was walking the dog the other evening had to pass a long Motor Home parked on the street. I thought “it’s not a good idea to walk on the sidewalk” where I would be completely blocked from view and trapped between the mobile home and the embankment on the other side. You need to think safety.
11- Invest in a life or medical alert system device in the home. They really work are not cost prohibitive. It is so loud and responds quickly that it would probably scare away any home intruder. As soon as the alarm is triggered, a response is forthcoming and a call to 911.
12- Rescue a large or medium size dog from a shelter and have your kids take him to dog obedience and training. A large, Lab, Shepherd or mixed breed will make a person think twice and their bark is very discouraging. Make sure you realize a dog is a lot of work they need play time and walking, but we all need the exercise so it’s a win win.
Here’s a link to the Southern Californian German Shepherd Rescue.
Use this link to go to socalrescue.org
You can use this link to learn more about self defense training.
The Krav Maga Women Only Program, teaches women how to defend themselves
